I see this post has been up for over two months now, with over 700 views, but not one reply (until today).
I'm going to give a quick critique here. And I want you to understand that what I'm about to say is meant with all the love in the world. From one copywriter to another.
I can see that you're trying to spread your wings as a copywriter, and I truly admire and respect that.
But I think it's time to consider this copy as a failed test. And it may be time to try again.
I just read your post twice, and I don't even know where to begin with what's wrong with it. But here's a short list of a few things that are, and just as important, are definitely NOT working for you.
We're going to move beyond the slightly hyped up headline, about catapulting my sales into the stratosphere
, because at least it was attention getting, and I guess that's a good thing.
But right from the beginning, this copy does not connect with anybody. (I'm assuming your target market is newbies, who know little to nothing about copywriting?)
The first sentence starts with "if you have been listening to this copywriting thing." - That doesn't really mean anything. Because, I don't know anybody who could honestly say that they've been "listening to this copywriting thing."
Perhaps if you opened with something more along the lines of " if you've ever wondered how professional copywriting can help increase the sales for your small business"... - then at least there might be some people who would think "yeah, I'm curious to know."
Then, on the next line you go on to say "here's what it's all about," but you immediately start telling me who YOU are... Does that mean copywriting is all about who you are?
I realize you're trying to establish some credibility, so everyone will believe what you say. But in sales (and that includes copywriting ) nobody cares who you are, until they know how much you care, about helping them.
Then on the next line, you state " what does this have to do with you?"
Now I'm thinking... "finally you're going to tell me what's in it for me." But then you immediately go on to tell me how YOU were searching for OTHER small businesses, and what YOU found disturbed YOU.
At this point in your letter, you haven't really offered anything of any benefit to "me". And by now, you've probably lost about 95% of your readers.
Then there's a couple lines telling me what copywriting is, and that part is okay.
And then you FINALLY offer me a benefit, by offering to answer any questions I have.
Unfortunately, you immediately go back to what's in it for you.
Couple more lines down, you state " this is not a sales pitch." But you finish that line with "you will be shocked to hear my fees." If it's not a sales pitch, then why would you even mention your fee's?
Finally, your PS is good. But I'd venture to say that very few, if any, people stuck around long enough to even read it.
Again, Fotis, I'm giving you this advice with all the love in my heart. (from me, to you - A Direct Response Copywriter, to an up and coming copywriter) In hopes that you'll come back here and re-test this post with a different version. Because this version is not working.
But that's OK. That's why we test... measure the results... tweak the copy... and test again.
I wish you only the greatest of success.
All the best,
Originally Posted by Fotis_Chat
If you have been listening to this copywriting thing but have no idea how to use it in your own small business, this is going the best post you will read all day.
Here's what it's all about:
My name is Fotis Chatzinicolaou, and I am a copywriter from Greece.
I specialize in e-mail and info-product copywriting and make my living selling my own services and working for a 7-figure online marketer.
What does this have to do with you?
Recently, I went online searching for small business owners who struggle with sales and needed copywriters.
What I found out disturbed me.
Most of them had a bizarre idea of what copywriting was.
For them, it was all about cute slogans, article writing while combining SEO and modifying the copy to fit whatever graphic the designer had prepared.
It was then that I understood that people are misinformed about copy.
What is copywriting?
It's the bridge from the people in your market to your product or service.
If you have an offer they want, then copywriting will help you make out like a bandit offline and/or online. It's not cute slogans or brand awareness. It's sales multiplied.
Here is where you come in.
Ask me any question you have about copywriting and I will answer it to the best of my abilities.
I will help you clear your head from any misconceptions you have about copywriting.
What's in it for me?
As I told at the beginning, I was looking for extra opportunities to use my copywriting skills.
But small business owners, apparently aren't 100% clear on what it is. As a copywriter (or a businessman in general) approaching a potential client without knowing what his beliefs are about me, is a sin.
So, I want to help you to help me understand my market better.
This is not a sales pitch. If you don't know how powerful copy can be, you will be shocked to hear my fees.
This post's sole purpose is to educate both me and you.
So ask away.
P.S. Here is one lesson for you.
The P.S. is the second most read part in any type of writing. It's a great opportunity to restate your pitch or add more oomph to your offer. Eight out of ten people will scroll down aaaaaall the way to the bottom of a 60 pages sales letter to see what's in the P.S.
If you are one of those eight, you experienced a bit of copywriting prowess.
Waiting for your questions