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Old 19th July 2008, 12:51 PM   #1
sergman
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Default Website Critique Please

Any suggestions, pointers any advise would be really appreciated

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Old 22nd July 2008, 03:44 AM   #2
Dean-123
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frankly speaking ,the page is a little bit chaotic.i like those page looks clear,likemytino
you can go and see it. hope it's helpful
take it easy!

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Old 25th July 2008, 07:03 PM   #3
HostRail.com
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Interesting Idea...

- Initially, the site has a decent 'flow' and works well.

- There is a run-on sentence that does not sound professional:
"Putting it simply itís a Business network website for kansas business owners in addition we also offer a direct mailing service, be sure to look at our service page. "

- I would recommending putting a 'call to action' on the home page encouraging the reading to 'click here' to sign up, etc. As it is, after reading through the homepage

- Also, your main paragraph has some poor grammar and sentence structure that needs reworking.

- The map of the USA doesn't make sense if you are limiting membership to a few states. Keep the map, but highlight the states that are included in your membership.

Let me know if I can help,

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Old 26th July 2008, 07:49 PM   #4
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Smile

That sentence is unprofessional?? How would you change it??

Poor grammarÖ yeah my English skills are not so sharp. Could you please point out my mistakes.

As for the map I want to change it so that the state of Kansas stands out somehow.

Do you know where I could find a service sales person that work for a commission?

Thank you HostRail for your response any help would be appreciated very much. The thing Iím struggling with most is getting sales, thatís why I need an adept sales person.

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Old 30th July 2008, 07:45 PM   #5
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Anything that is a run on sentence or grammatically incorrect sounds unprofessional. If writing is not your strong suit, you should ask a friend or business associate to edit your text content.

I think the site has potential. I would advise that you hire out things that are not your specialty, as this will pay off more in the end. This holds true for your website design, text wording, sales, whatever you know you are not the best at. This alone is where many small businesses fail in the beginning. Try to look like an established coffee shop, not a lemonaid stand.

Let me know if I can help,

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Old 14th August 2008, 11:19 PM   #6
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In addition to what the other posters said, what stood at me is that there is a space in the top right that says 468 x 60 banner like there should be a banner there, but there isn't

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Old 15th August 2008, 06:24 PM   #7
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Sergman, I know you are still working on your site... note the typo on the bottom tab: "Imporove & Grow"

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Old 15th August 2008, 10:33 PM   #8
delstu
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As soon as I clicked your link I became confused. The most noticeable part of the first fold says "Top Movie Picks"; I wondered what the site is really about.

Have you actually sold ad space? Why is the movie blurb on site?

At the top of the page you should make it clear what the site is about and how visitors will benefit.

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